I’m sitting at home, alone, watching TV at 1:30 in the morning, and talking to myself as if the guy I’ve had a crush on for the past 4 years is sitting here with me, and we are together, finally… but that’s never going to happen. Because I blew it. And now he is in a committed relationship. So, in a year or two, or maybe three, he is most likely going to marry her. And she is an amazing person, and they should be together. They are definitely better together than he and I would be. I have too much shit I need to work through, like avoidance issues and fear of commitment.
That’s kind of funny, that I’m afraid of commitment, but I’m sitting here dreaming about sharing my life with him.
“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. Or you don’t.”
— Stephen King, The Stand
